


Smooth Criminal

by curekepralssyndrome (orphan_account)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: AU, F/M, Hehehe, PWP, Person A and Person B both trying to break into the same place on the same night by accident, SO, This Is STUPID, You're Welcome, also, and so is thane but he's also an assassin on the side, anyway, but shepard is a burglar, doesnt matter, fuck me right???? hahahahaha, just smut tbh, like proffessional, lmaoo, never written a blow job before
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 13:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7440337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/curekepralssyndrome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Person A and Person B both trying to break into the same place on the same night by accident, only to be chased by the police upon meeting and having to hide in a closet/cupboard/safe together until they leave.</p>
<p>I like this prompt a lot but im changing it a little, Thane is there to kill someone more in character tbh, and this is an au were shepard and joker are a burglar duo lmaoo Joker is tech support tbh also yes i know that title is terrible bUT IT MADE ME LAUGH</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_"Fuck."_ Shepard hissed, cursing herself for not matching the bypass in time, the door clunking with a resounding thunk, indicating it was in lock down until it was overrode, most likely by the next guard shift she was not eager to meet. She stood, pulling her dark hood lower around her face, taking in the building before her, casing for her Plan B route. She silently wished they had more time, more time for recon, and more time for the operation in general. 

Kahje was humid, and she could feel the thrum of ocean currents where she stood. Her hair stuck to her forehead, and she huffed as she pushed it once again behind her ear. From above, she had liked how the domed cities looked, spires of light standing strong amidst the ocean. She figured the Prothean artifact would have been an easy score. The Hanar had a large surplus, eventually forcing them to create exhibits for other races to view them, some able to study them. Shepard didn't care, even just one small Prothean data disk could set her and Joker up for life. Her eyes fell on a fire escape, a series of platforms and ladders running up the side of the wall. She advanced on it silently, she frowned in confusion as to why a Hanar would need, or how they would use a fire escape, but shook the distracting thought away.

She stretched, her knee cracking as she pushed on it. She ran at the wall, jumping at the last second, her foot hitting the metal with a dull thump, before pushing off with all her strength. She grabbed the dangling metal, taking a deep breath before silently pulling herself up onto the ladder. She hated this, she had told Joker they had to do more recon, but he had protested, saying they would never let humans come and go as they pleased without some suspicion. A faint buzz in her ear from her comm piece had her rolling her eyes, "Speak of the devil," she muttered as she climbed up to the first platform.

"How's it going?" Joker snapped into her ear, sounding as carefree as someone could when orchestrating a heist, in the comfort of the Normandy. Shepard loved that ship, and smiled at the memory of stealing it from the alliance.

"Does it really matter how I answer?" She huffed out, trying to control her breathing as she heaved herself up another ladder. trying to keep the creaking of metal to a minimum.

"Hm... No, you're right. You in yet?" He asked impatiently, and Shepard shook her head in disbelief as she found herself on the last platform, one more ladder and she'd be on the roof.

"Not quite." She reported, taking another deep breath before resuming the taxing exercise of lifting herself up and off the unsteady platform onto the unsteady ladder, climbing higher and higher. Looking down she felt her stomach lurch, pulling the secure metal to her chest as she tried to steady herself. After a silent moment, she carried on, rolling onto the roof with a sigh of relief a few seconds later.

"Do you even know what you're getting? We don't have a lot of time before the Hanar come by to pray or... something." He joked sarcastically, and Shepard rolled her eyes. Despite the sarcasm and jokes, Joker was a good friend, and an even better pilot. They were a good team, and that's all that Shepard needed.

"Something that can fit in this bag. Data disk would be ideal." She answered, quickly and precisely maneuvering over the roof, eyeing a hatch on the other side. Perfect.

"Sounds good..." Joker began, but Shepard stopped listening, her hands running over the small hatch suspiciously. No lock, no sensors, nothing she could see... She chuckled to herself, it was like the good overly polite jellyfish were _begging_ to be robbed.

"I'm in." Shepard confirmed as she opened the hatch, slowly, silently praying it wouldn't creak like the ladders had. Laying it on the floor, its hinge creaking, Shepard slipped inside, quickly letting herself drop into the room below. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the sudden light. The backpack secured tightly to her back lurched with the weight of her tools, nearly throwing off her balance. 

"Fuck." She gasped, finding herself in a small room, and she guessed it was a chapel. There were several stasis pods, Hanar sleeping within them, all decorated with Prothean markings. Shepard backed to the wall immediately, eyes scanning the room for an exit. Nearly tripping over the rows of seating, wooden and hard as she stubbed her foot into one.

"What? What's up?" Joker inquired, sincere worry in his voice. Shepard didn't answer, eyes narrowing as she saw a door directly across from her. She would have to bypass it, which would take a few seconds. She also considered alarms, sure there would be some in the important looking room. It was covered in Prothean images, the walls painted in bright colours, the roof covered in scriptures she couldn't take the time to read.

"Shepard." Joker called again, serious, and Shepard bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth. She'd have to chance it.

She sprinted to the door, pressing her omni tool into it, running through the codes as quickly as possible, her heart racing, the familiar heat of adrenaline coursing through her. The door slid open with a faint hiss, and she ran, the hallway darker than the previous room, and less ornately decorated. She heaved a sigh of relief, retreating into the shadow, listening carefully to the silence. No sirens, no alarms. She looked to the lights, squinting as she realized they were candles. _candles?_ Weird. 

"There was some weird shit in that room." She half laughed as her breathing slowed, Joker laughing in relief.

"Now I have no clue where I am." Shepard added, looking around suspiciously as she walked down the hall, trying to look like she belonged there. If anyone came, that would have to be her defense. The rooms and halls had no ledges, no above roof scaffolding to hide on. 

She took a right, carefully peering around the corner first. She felt her heart race, the thrill making goosebumps appear on her skin as she saw the door, huge, silver, and surrounded by more of the large Prothean markings, carved in a hazardous arch. _Jackpot._ Shepard sprinted to the door, surprised to find it unlocked, she slowly pushed it only slightly open, slipping inside without a sounds.

"What's happening?" Joker asked as Shepards eyes widened, grinning at the assembly room before her. It was similar to the room she entered through, large, ornate, flowers and paintings covering the walls, except this one had a single row of pews, facing a small stage, where several Prothean artifacts were placed, like a shrine, with candles and flowers surrounding them. 

As Shepard entered the room she noticed movement, and backed into the shadows, crouching and letting her eyes scan the room. A Hanar couldn't move like that out of water, and she felt a tingle across her skin when she realized she hadn't seen any other security on the way in. Before she could react she felt something strike her in the shoulder, making her gasp in pain. Her head swam as she rolled away, focused on escaping whatever had somehow gotten the drop on her. As she climbed to her feet, now standing in the middle of the room, white light shining on her, her eyes met a pair larger than her own. She gripped her shoulder, grinning.

"Who are you?" Demanded the Drell, and Shepard smirked. He wore dark leather, and lacked armor, definitely not military. He only had a pistol and small collection of knives. Assassin Shepard guessed, spreading her legs and lifting her arms in a defensive stance.

"Just a tourist." She teased, watching as the Drell looked her up and down, smirking back as he adopted a similar posture, but his arms were tight by his side, lower. She watched as he quickly advanced, his movements fluid and quick, like a fish in water. A shark, Shepard figured was more accurate, she side stepped, his fist just grazing her chest as she barely dodged his attack.

"Tourists don't belong here." He countered, as he raised his leg, kicking her. Shepard cried out in pain, covering her mouth as she fell to the floor. She wouldn't alert any security they did have.

"Oh no?" Shepard teased back, attempting to seem calmer than she really was, her heart racing.

"Shepard what's going on? Who was that?" Joker chirped in her ear, nearly distracting her as she rolled away from another all too close strike.

"I'm a bit busy," She huffed, getting to her feet as the Drell tilted his head, listening.

"What's an assassin doing here anyway?" She inquired to the Drell, attempting to distract him.

"Work." He replied, narrowing his eyes at the burglar.

"Ah, they say the best job is the job you love." Shepard shrugged her shoulders, trying to calm her breathing. This guy was good. She figured she would keep on the defensive, analyse his patterns before attempting countering. 

"What are you doing here?" He smirked, lunging forward and reaching low, towards Shepards leather belt, she side stepped, ducking and aiming a blow square into his shoulder, throwing him back.

"Shopping." Shepard teased, exhilarated at having thrown the Drell off balance, his own wide eyed look betraying his own surprise at the strike.

Shepard heard footsteps, and watched as the Drells eyes narrowed, also registering the company heading their way, Shepard guessed it was the Drell guards she hadn't seen. Hanar didn't make a habit of being noisy. They met eyes for a second, Shepard considering trying to take him head to head with the minute or two they had before being discovered. The Drell broke eye contact first, turning and running for a door Shepard hadn't noticed, it's color melding into the wall perfectly. 

"Fuck." She gasped, breaking into a sprint for the opposite wall, another large door promising another chance at scoring before dawns light would make it impossible to leave without alerting authorities.

"Were you... flirting with that guy? Shepard, gotta be honest that sounded just like flirting." Joker babbled, amusement soaking his voice. Shepard rolled her eyes, another deserted hallway. She heard footsteps, and pulled her hood down in frustration, her eyes scanning the hall for a door, a room, a ledge, anything to get her away from what sounded like angry voices. She took a turn left, into a smaller hallway, more twists and turns taking her further from the alerted noises.

"No." She snapped as she spotted a door, pushing into it with all her might. She tumbled, hearing a clatter but unable to see a thing as the door closed behind her. She stilled herself, bracing her hands against the walls, her back pressed up against _something_ , not hard, warm. 

She listened as the steps passed, the noise fading away and stilling with the slam of a door. She waited, scared to move. She felt her heartbeat in the tips of her fingers, straining against the cold steal walls, holding her breath as she listened to the ragged breathing of whoever else was in the closet with her. 

"Do you make a habit of this?" She jumped forward, the Drell having leaned down, whispering into her ear. She stood, spinning around and raising her arms, peering into the spotty darkness, willing her eyes to adjust faster.

"Don't bother, you couldn't beat me in here." Came the voice again, and Shepard found herself stilling at the sound, knowing he was probably right. Drell had good eye sight, and she knew some had theirs modified to suit the Hanar more. 

"So what now?" She asked sarcastically, shrugging her arms but giving no visible indication that she wouldn't defend herself, pressing herself against the door her arms up and ready.

"We could wait. The next shift change will be in an hour or so. Or we could fight. Although..." He paused, and her eyes adjusted, able to see the green of his face.

"I don't see much point." He finished, his arms crossed behind him, eyeing her curiously.

"Okay. We wait." She agreed, standing straight, pulling her hood down and turning away, listening to more foot steps pass by. The ground was littered with things she had pushed off their shelves, and she ignored the Drell as he leaned down, picking them up and placing them back carefully. She was thankful for the cool air on her face, pulling her hair up and tying it into a tight bun.

"So... wait huh?" Joker asked, sighing exasperatedly, and Shepard rolled her eyes again, crossing her arms.

"Yep." She answered, trying not to catch the attention of the one so close she could touch him if she wanted, just an arms length away.

"Who is it?" He asked, and Shepard could understand his boredom, having to wait hours on end before being called for pick up.

"A Drell. Assassin." She whispered, watching him as the Drell picked up the last of the cylinders, smiling contentedly to himself at his work.

"I can hear you both." He whispered, meeting her eyes with a smirk, her skin heating as she registered just how big and dark they were.

"Oh." Both Joker and Shepard blurted, and she was surprised at the silence that followed from Joker, usually ready to counter with a sarcastic or witty comment.

"What is your name?" Asked the Drell, crossing his own arms across his chest and leaning back against the wall. Shepard considered him for a moment, clad in leather, muscular ad confident. Drell really were _interesting > she decided, her eyes raking over the gills that lined his face, the way they moved when he spoke. _

"Sh-Shepard." She replied, biting a finger nail as she looked away.

"Thane." He said, and Shepard liked it. Thane. The way he said it made her knees weak too, his voice just so... alluring. She wasn't sure, Shepard shuffled nervously, his gaze burning into her back.

"Shepard." He called, his voice still low and consuming, and she looked to him, her face hot. How long had it been? It felt like minutes but Shepard sighed in disappointment as she checked her clock. Only a single minute had passed. 

"Yeah?" She snapped, looking away to the door once more, her foot tapping impatiently.

"That's a good name." He commented, and it made Shepard huff a nervous laugh. He was strange.

"Shep he is _totally_ flirting with you." Joker laughed, and Shepard blushed, the Drell, Thane, shifting uncomfortably beside her.

"Shut up!" Shepard hissed, picking the nail she had been biting, and flicking it onto the floor.

"Okay, okay... but really is he cute? Is he hot?" Joker teased, making a high pitched voice she recognized as his 'pretending to be Shepard' voice, and Shepard angrily reached up and switched off her earpiece, jamming her finger down onto the switch. 

"Is that okay?" Thane asked, and Shepard nodded, crossing her arms again, the heat of the confined space making her want to sit down, pull her hood up and ignore everything else.

"Is he..." Thane trailed off and Shepard eyed him, suspicious of were this strange assassin was headed.

"He's my friend." She finished for him, holding her breath and listening as she heard more footsteps, more than before, faster, like they were running.

"Oh, good." He replied, nodding. She watched him again, his eyes going from her, to the corners of the room, then back to hers.

Shepard smirked, and found her heart rate pick up when he returned the now familiar smug smile. It was strange, her heart racing for someone she had only just met, and whom she had been fighting just moments before. The adrenaline still pumping through her, looking at his arms, she could still feel the power they held as he had struck her. Wondered how they would feel holding her, what his skin felt like, wanted to hear just what his voice could do. She took a shallow breath, the heat of him behind her so imposing in the small space. 

_"Fuck it."_ She sighed, spinning around and pushing him up against the wall, relishing the way his muscles tensed under her, going for the kill, she pressed her lips against his. 

He was tense at first, Shepard considered pulling away, apologizing and leaving. She'd rather take her chances with the guards than suffer an awkward silence. But he pulled her closer, his lips softening against hers, biting her lower lip hungrily.

"Is... this okay?" Shepard asked, cringing as he smiled down at her, nodding his head slightly, his hands snaking around her waist and pulling her closer against him, his leather uncomfortable against her skin tight, thin black leggings. He nodded, and Shepard shrugged off her backpack, letting it fall to the floor as he nodded, kissing her again, gentler than before.

Shepard pushed him into the wall _hard_ smirking and huffing excited breaths, she could see his eyes properly, up this close, so dark, but as she watched them roam her face, searching for a betrayal of any emotion she noticed the green irises. She bit her lip, glancing down to the bulge in his pants, sliding down to her knees as curiosity and adrenaline fueled her sudden lust. She came face to crotch, biting her lip as she tentatively reached up, letting her hand feel for whatever latch or zipper would be in her way.

"Siha..." The Drell sighed as she gently, slowly began unzipping his pants, and she smirked at the sound, trying to be quiet as she pulled them down.

"What? My translator didn't get that." She whispered, smirking up at Thane as she let her hand drift over his crotch, biting her lip in an effort to be seductive, or as much as the cramped space would allow her to be.

"Perhaps later..." He chuckled, his hand drifting to cup her cheek, but Shepard pulled out of the too familiar and gentle action, dismissing it for the growing bulge and heat beneath her palm. 

"Okay," She quirked an eyebrow as she teased him, letting her hand snake ever so slightly into the leather, her hand caressing the small part of exposed skin there, tugging down the stiff leather as slow as she could. He growled, pushing his hips into her touch, she lost her breath at the reaction, her hand stilling against the warm skin.

He sighed, his head lulling back, eyes closing, and Shepard took the opportunity to finally pull the thick black fabric down to his knees, rendering him effectively stuck as she took in the sight of him finally bear, her breath hitching in her throat. It was different, but not too much so, she resisted the urge to inspect every inch, to take out a light to see it properly in the darkness. She held back a laugh at the mental image, instead letting her fingers ghost over the ridges that lined his waste, similar to those on his neck. Her hands trailed down from his hip, across the small of his stomach, to the base of his cock. She listened closely to his reactions, the way his breathing hitched as she got closer to his member, her thumb pressing down along the pink flesh that framed it.

"Fuck..." He gasped, now watching her intently as she brought both her hands to it, one gently gripping his cock, and the other caressing the raised ridges of his hip, her thumb moving in lazy circles.

She began stroking his cock, and he moved his hips with her slow pace, groaning into the touch, and she bit her lip, meeting his eyes as her thumb rolled around the tip. He narrowed his eyes, growling in a warning and she nodded, speeding the pace up, her other hand leaving his hip, drifting down to were her own heat was pooling. Just watching him sent waves of anticipation and arousal through her, and she ground herself against her hand, looking for any source or friction. She looked up at him one last time through her hair, as she leisurely licked a stripe up the length of his member. 

"Shepard..." He rumbled, his voice low and deep, heady with need, and she obliged, leaning in closer and ignoring the way her feet and knees ached.

She licked him again, quicker this time, the taste salty on her tongue. She closed her eyes, closing her lips around his cock, sucking as she sunk down on the entire length. He moaned again, and she heard the faint thump of his head hitting the wall. She steadily began moving, her head bobbing as she let his member sit on her tongue, stroking him with it as she sucked him in and out of her mouth.

"Oh _Goddess_ yes like that..." He panted, his hand falling down to gently push her onto his cock, letting her control the pace, she moaned around his member, stopping when she pulled away to lick the tip, before swallowing his cock down again. She quickened the pace, desperate to see some kind of release, her hand stroking herself through her clothes, desperate for more.

"W-Wait. Stop" He grunted, pulling her away gently, his breathing raged, his frills rushed from the sudden flush. She grinned at the reaction, his own bewilderment soon turning into a complimenting smirk. 

"Something wrong?" She teased, her hand snaking up to stroke his cock, once, twice, his eyes drifting closed and hips swinging into her hand.

"N-No, but... want to..." He stammered out, his voice sending shivers down her spine, her hand squeezing around him as she listened.

"Want to make you feel good too." He finished, looking pointedly to were her hand rested against herself, and she blushed slightly, nodding.

"Good." He hummed, taking her wrist and pulling her up, forcing her to stand, her legs wobbling slightly, the pulse of blood rushing to her feet soon drowned out by the sudden kiss that swallow her rushed breathing.

His tongue was demanding, sending shivers through her as it stroked her own, her tongue running over his lips in curiosity. She moaned, biting his lower lip as he ran his hands down her sides, squeezing her ass gently, pulling back and smirking. He kissed her again, rougher, hungrier, and then leaned down to her neck, biting and sucking a mark into the spot uncovered by her hoodie.

"Turn around." He growled into her ear, demanding, and she shook as the sound, nodding. She turned, her hands finding a shelf to brace herself on as he suddenly moved away, the cool air raising goosebumps on the back of her neck. Slowly, his hands pushed up the hem of her skin tight hoodie, running over the bare skin beneath, and she shivered, the warmth of his hands sending shivers down her spine.

"Fuck." She hissed as his hands snaked around her torso, trailing up to squeeze her gently through her bra, chuckling into her ear, pressing closer.

"If only we had more time to kill..." He purred into her ear, licking a stripe up her neck suggestively, and she bit her lip to hold back the whimper that nearly fell out involuntarily.

"Yeah..." She agreed, her voice a whisper, on of his hands now shifting, pressing under the waistband of her leggings, and then underwear.

She leaned her head back, resting on his shoulder, pushing back against him as his fingers stroked her entrance, lingering on her clit. He kissed down her neck, licking and sucking another mark onto her neck, and she gasped as his middle finger entered her, slowly pressing in and out. He hummed again, approving as Shepard whined, begging for more as she ground her hips against him. He pressed another finger into her, moving faster, pressing himself against her ass, and she groaned at the feeling of his hardness, her knuckles white were she gripped the steel shelf.

"Please..." She gasped, as he scissored his fingers, stretching her, and he nodded against her neck, growling quietly, Shepard getting goosebumps as she felt the rumble of his chest against her back. She whimpered when he pulled his hands away, but pressed back against him again, stilling when his fingers hooked into the waistband of her leggings, tugging them down roughly.

She smirked, shivering at the cold air hitting her bare end, more goosebumps raising on her arms, her hands tightening their grip on the shelf. She waited, listening to the shift of his breathing, the almost silent 'goddess' he whispered into her ear like a prayer. She moved back against him, rolling her hips against his now bear member, relishing the catch in his breath, before he mirrored her movements, desperate for the friction of his scales against her softness.

"Fuck yes," He whispered into her ear, breathless, gripping her hips tightly to still them, biting her ear as he brought the head of his cock to her entrance.

"Fuck me, Thane, fuck" Shepard whined, one of her hands leaving the shelf, her fingers aching as she reached back and gently drifted her finger over his neck, tracing the ridges as he groaned.

He nodded, his head buried once again in the crook of her neck, her hand unconsciously moving to hold him there, her fingers caressing where his head fell into pointed ridges, fingers pressing against the points curiously. She gasped as he pressed in, kissing the crook of her neck and whispering as he finally began filling her.

"Oh, fuck yes..." She groaned, covering her mouth, her hand shaking as it held onto the shelf, trying to remind herself to be quiet.

"Oh fuck, Siha, so good, fuck," He rambled, his voice too deep, filled with desperation, pulling her hips flush against him, letting her adjust to the width of him. She closed her eyes, her head spinning, feeling hotter every second, the press of his jacket against her back, his hands, all too much as her head lulled forward, trying to get a grip.

"Shit, more please," She moaned after a few seconds, craving more, both her hands gripping onto the shelf once more, focusing on gaining that quick release.

He shifted, his feet making the slightest scrape against the floor, and pulled away, Shepard moaning at the loss, before pushing back in slowly. She nodded, whispering a mantra of yeses, as he set up a slow tempo. He held her hips, pulling her to him with each thrust, his own hips ululating and grinding, sending himself deeper as he fucked into her.

"Oh god, fuck yes," She panted, pushing back against him, their rhythm speeding up after a few minutes, both aching as they reached their apex. 

"Fuck, going to..." Thane moaned, pulling her closely, his thrusts shallow and fast, pounding into her.

"Oh god yes please, so good," Shepard trembled, her knees weak as she felt herself release, her eyes clenching, muscles twinging with the effort of holding the now warm metal. Her pulse throbbing in every end of her body as she rode out the orgasm, biting her lip to keep from crying out.

"Goddess, Siha," he growled into her ear, biting down on her shoulder as he came, thrusting into her one more time, grinding his cock into her, relishing each gasp it strangled from her throat. They stayed like that for a few moments, freezing their heavy heady breaths as they heard the next pounding of heavy boots against the floor outside.

_"Oh fuck."_ Shepard hissed, pushing back against the Drell who pulled back, but Shepard could have sworn the hand that lingered on the small of her back made him seem reluctant.

"I guess we should go." Shepard mumbled, pulling up her trousers, attempting to smooth her hair, calm her breathing, as she lifted her hood over her face once more. She cringed at the thought of Joker finding out, switching on the comm link in her ear.

"Finally! You've been out for an hour, what the hell happened?" Came the familiar panicked voice of her pilot, she rolled her eyes, ignoring him.

"We should." Thane agreed, staring at her, his own image already perfected, his hands behind his back, seemingly waiting for her cue.

"What? Wait a minute, why are you still with him? Shepard? Shepard?" He rushed, his voice lower now, and she could practically hear his raised eyebrows.

"On the count of three?" Shepard whispered, quirking her brow at the Drell. Was she really going to just take him to the Normandy? If he followed, she decided she wouldn't stop him. Looking at the time, she knew it was almost daybreak, and she would be lucky to get out alive, the guards most definitely alerted to their presence by now. She leant down, picking up her bag, unsatisfying and light, absent of any money making artifacts, and slung it over her back.

"Yes." He nodded, his hand moving to grasp the doors lock, looking to her.

"One, two..." She took a deep breath, wiping the sweat from her brow, grinning at the assassin as the adrenaline pumped through her veins.

_"Three."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i got bored and figure i might carry this on... no smut in this chapter just fyi lmaooo
> 
> also adding more of the crew, might add more later or when i feel like it mutha fuckerrrr

Shepard stumbled as she struggled to gain footing on the roof, clinging onto the forearm of the Drell. He pulled her up, the sunlight burning the lids of her eyes, the air taken from her lungs as she looked back at the guards. Some Hanar floated behind them, struggling to stay level with the suddenly strong winds, their own Drell attempting to follow. She watched as one trained a rifle on them, only for the rush of other guards and the wind to blow his aim off, the hot burn of the bullet landing a few feet off.

"Did you have an escape plan?" Thane asked, quirking his brows. Flirting. Shepard blushed, Jokers chuckle an annoying chirp in her ear. She nodded silently, her skin hot.

Shepard pulled own her hood, trying to take a deep breath, her head clouding, a familiar feeling. Though it usually happened after consuming a bottle or two of brandy. Thane took her arm again, pulling her across the roof, the silver of neighboring spires and domes searing through her vision. An itch on her neck forced her to pull the zipper down, scratching desperately at the back of her neck.

"Y-You've never been with a Drell have you?" She felt him rumble, suddenly pulled closely, his arms circling her like a wall and she nodded.

"So? You jealous?" She felt herself frown at the way her voice was slurred, her words barely intelligible.

"I'm coming in hot, pretty sure they spotted me." She heard Joker hiss, attempting to keep his lighthearted tone, and Shepard pushed away from the stranger, stumbling as she listened closely, the rush of the wind like screaming waves.

"We're ready, on the roof." Shepard focused, managing to get the words out, her fingers tingling, her knees weak. She looked back, the guards scrambling over the edge of the roof, Thane pulling out a pistol, training it on them, but not shooting.

"Fuck." Shepard hissed, the itch spreading, ignoring it as she heard the familiar engine, smiling at the open hanger, the wind pushing her hair out, cooling the sweat on her forehead, a relief.

"I'm guessing this is the plan?" Thane asked, already pulling her to the edge, Shepard nodding, catching up with him and looking down and across, judging the distance they'd have to jump.

"I don't feel so good." She muttered, the drop to the ground bellow making her stomach churn, the ground moving, like water lay just below what she knew would be a hard surface. She shook her head, chancing another glance down, the ground swimming, grey sheets of metal ululating below them

"You're just high." Thane gripped her hand, looking at her for some confirmation she was ready to jump. She nodded, looking back to see the guards closing in, their guns trained, yelling something she didn't understand. 

They ran, and Shepard yelled as she jumped with the strange Drell, cursing her limbs for being weaker than she knew she was, her kick off of the rooftop barely enough to get her across, as if she was half asleep. Her eyes watered against the air, tears streaming back, cold against the rush of air, and she couldn't breath, watching as the solid metal of the ship she called home came closer and closer, darkness, pains as she rolled into the closing hanger, the absence of the hand that was in hers, Jokers sigh of relief in her ear.

"What the hell..." Shepard sighed, her arm aching, her sides splitting where they'd crashed into the metal flooring. She lay there for a moment, the itching spreading over her chest, scratching at it desperately for relief, until a hand grabbed her wrists and held them still, gently and firmly.

"Don't scratch, it'll get worse." She opened her eyes at the voice, calming her slightly. The itch burning her skin, like a sunburn.

"What?" She cursed, closing her eyes, trying to focus, her vision swimming, his eyes seeming larger and darker than before.

"I should have explained. I assumed..." He trailed off, letting go of her hands, letting her sit up, the familiar hum of the Normandy and its movements settling her. She flexed her fingers, the urge to scratch screaming from each of her muscles.

"I assumed you had experience with Drell," He finished, standing, offering his hand as he took in the surrounding level, his eyes narrowing as Jack slowly advanced, quirking her brow at the new addition.

"Well, you can explain later, I need a drink." Shepard muttered, shoving her hands into her pockets, fiddling with the stitching of them, pulling at a loose thread restlessly.

"Shepard, you okay?" Jack snapped, giving Thane another of her classic stink eye looks, her mouth twisted in a way Shepard had been envious of once, always able to intimidate without fail.

"Y-Yeah, fine, don't mind him, he's coming with me." Shepard ordered, Jack shrugging and nodding, relaxing as she watched Thane take the queue, crossing his arms behind his back and following Shepard to the elevator.

Shepard noticed the way he noticed everything, how he took mental notes of vulnerable areas, not that there were many to note. The way he eyed the crew, his eyes immediately drawn to whatever fire arm they carried. Shepard didn't trust him. She kept her distance, a few paces ahead as she walked to Joker, holding her side when it stung, aching with each step.

"Quite a ship." Thane mused as they passed what he assumed was the navigation system, the holographic image of the vessel displaying as Shepard passed, glancing at it herself with pride.

"Yeah, took her from right under the nose of the alliance." She grinned at the memory, turning back to him for a brief moment.

"Impressive." Thane smirked, as he followed her into the cockpit, the orange glow of the multiple screens casting shadows over her face.

"What the hell was that?" Joker swiveled in his chair, gesturing with his arms, before crossing them with a huff.

"Didn't go to plan. I told you we needed more recon." Shepard countered, ignoring the pain in her arm and side to stand straight, crossing her own arms as she stared him down.

"Yeah, alright, maybe we did. Doesn't explain why lover boy is here." Joker remarked snidely, spinning back around in his chair, Shepard momentarily grateful that he couldn't see the blush she felt spread over her face.

"N-Nothing happened." Shepard snapped, narrowing her eyes at the pilot, ignoring the eyes of the Drell she felt boring into her back.

"Your words were slurred, you were seeing things, sounds like Drell venom to me." Shepard could hear the laugh that was being held back, her eyebrows rising.

"What?" She looked to Thane for some explanation, embarrassed, confused, her chest burning with the itching, her vision back to normal, but still seeing spots when she closed her eyes.

"I tried explaining, Drell secrete a toxin that can induce itching, and mild hallucinations when in contact with other species." He explained, his face like stone, not embarrassed in the least, the corner of his lips quirking ever so slightly.

"Yeah, _oral contact_ ," Joker hummed, his tone teasing, his hands dancing over the screens, the ship moving with him effortlessly, the ground swaying under Shepards feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns and winks*


	3. Chapter 3

"Damn," Shepard cursed, her thumb bleeding, dropping the small sculpting knife to the table. The model ship lay useless on the table, pieces still unpainted, still missing sections of its outer hull.

She pushed away from the counter, standing and stretching before walking to her bed, pulling out the first aid kit from under it. She rinsed the wound with alcohol, before quickly wrapping it in a clear plaster. She looked at the time, sighing when the orange letters presented 22:12. It was late, but she couldn't sleep, choosing instead to riddle her mind and fiddle with the Quarian floatilla ship she'd been meaning to assemble.

She ran a hand through her hair, shivering, standing and zipping her N-7 hoodie all the way up, tucking her hands into the sleeves. Shepard walked to the elevator, her feet shuffling with each pause as she waited for the series of doors, before wandering to the crew deck. Ashely stood there, leaning against the door opposite the life support systems, tapping her foot, fingers dancing over the belt that held her pistol.

"I'll take this shift, you get some rest." Shepard ordered, placing a hand on her shoulder briefly, ignoring the skewering narrow look Ashley gave her, before nodding and moving, watching Shepard enter the room.

"I was wondering when you'd come." Thane's voice left her shivering again, her arms moving the curl around herself, clutching her sides tightly, attempting to seem nonchalant.

"Had trouble sleeping." She rounded the corner, leaning against the wall, meeting his eyes carefully.

"I have similar troubles." He smirked, his hands folded, his head tilted ever so slightly, Shepard shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Thank you, for letting me stay." Thane stated after the uncomfortable silence, his tone genuine, sincere, from what Shepard could gather, his hands holding each other tighter than before, his shoulders tense.

"What were you doing there?" Shepard asked, pushing off the wall, taking a few quick steps to sit opposite him, narrowing her eyebrows at the Drell, determined not to get distracted. His silence stretched, Shepard unblinking, leaning back in the chair and tapping the table.

"I was executing a contract." He stated, his eyes wide, dark, Shepards breath hitching slightly.

"So I picked up an assassin." She clicked her tongue, shaking her head, rubbing the sleep from the corners of her eyes. 

"Is this a problem?" He asked, no sign of emotion other than the way he leaned back, his eyes roaming over her nervously.

"No. We aren't exactly angels here either." She laughed, standing suddenly, her hands planted on the table top, palms spread.

"Thank you." He nodded, his hand tentatively moving to hers, his fingers just barely touching her knuckles.

"But I don't want any trouble. You wait here, till the heats off. Then you're out." She finished, pulling her hand away as quickly as she could, without the flush on her cheeks being too obvious. She turned away, stopping at the corner when Thanes voice interrupted her.

"Of course, Siha." Shepard turned, frowning at the flirtatious smirk that she had become all too used to now, too soon. She ignored him, dismissing the glitch in her translator, rushing to the door, letting out a sigh of relief when it closed behind her.

"Finished?" Shepard jumped at Ashleys sharp tone, smiling and nodding, Shepard bit her nail.

"He's an odd one. And dangerous. I'd keep my distance." Ashley muttered, taking her spot against the wall once more, crossing her arms, closing her eyes.

"Dangerous, definitely. But I trust him." Shepard admitted, shrugging her shoulders when Ashley gave her a lopsided scowl.

"Get some sleep Ash." Shepard waved her off, ignoring the eyes that bore into her back as she made her way to the elevator once more. She stared at the panel of buttons, unsure where to go, knowing sleep was not a certainty, and unwilling to be alone.

"Going up?" The familiar voice made her smile, Garrus entering the elevator, standing next to her and watching her fingers hovering over the small display panel.

"I don't know. Can't sleep." Shepard sighed, letting her hand fall to her side, the Turian beside her shuffling restlessly.

"Come on then," He sighed, rolling his beady eyes, leaning past Shepard to click the panel himself. The elevator shifting beneath them, Shepard tapping her foot impatiently.

"So, what's he like?" Garrus asked, his voice tilting up the way he did whenever he was uncomfortable, awkward.

"He's... different." Shepard spat out, turning over the conversation with Thane in her head, trying to remember any detail of his behavior she hadn't noticed.

"Very good poker face." She added, biting her nail impatiently, avoiding Garrus's gaze.

"Uh-Huh. Heard plenty of details from-" He began, his cocky grin making his mandibles flare slightly.

"From Joker. I know." She exhaled a huff, glowering at the crack in the door, willing it to open, her cheeks reddening slightly.

"EDI." Garrus corrected, a careful clawed hand on her shoulder some kind of attempt of sympathy, Shepard laughing slightly.

"Gossips." She joked, pushing Garrus when the door opened, the Turian stumbling into the Shuttle Bay, quickly spinning to give her a glare.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is becoming more of a thing than i thought, like idk i might have REBELLIOUS VIGILANTE AU BACKGROUNDS for the whole crew ?? maybe?? idk lmaooo like im liking this ALSO this is an au set AFTER the second game now, and like instead of the council being all "reapers", they were like SHIT REAPERS. idk ill iron it out as i go or not im a piece of shit
> 
> ALSO TW for some PTSD... like idek it just happened that way
> 
> EDIT: FUCK YA'LL WHO DIDN'T COMMENT OR TELL ME I PUT "wASHING HER TEETH AND BRUSHING HER FACE" LIKE WOW LET ME PLAY MYSELF LIKE THAT I POST THESE AT 2am I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND AND DONT LAUGH AT ME ANYWAY FUCK YOU

"Shepard!" Wrex called out a greeting, struggling under the weight of the younger Krogan that had him pinned, the training mat covered in scratches.

Shepard nodded in acknowledgement, pushing her hair back, sliding in a hair tie and pulling it tightly, slowly following Garrus. Grunt huffing and standing, laughing slowly as he watched Wrex stand, glare, and then gave him a hard knock on the head. Shepard rolled her eyes, toeing off her shoes, the chill of the hard metal cooling her toes as she stretched, her bones cracking loudly.

"Human joints are so fragile." Garrus muttered, taking off his visor and placing it on one of the many armory lockers. Shepard huffed, cracking her knuckles, Garrus cocking a brow, clearly unfamiliar with the threatening gesture.

"Says you, Turian waists freak me out, like you can just snap with a drop kick." She countered, making a cracking noise from between her teeth, Garrus chucking low from under his breath.

"I'd like to see you try." He coaxed, the sound of his armour clunking ungracefully, his feet planting themselves on the sparring mat, his eyes narrowed at Shepard.

She joined him, a few paces apart, her left foot settling in front of the right, a shoulder width apart, her head bowed ever so slightly, she hid her face from the Turian as she lifted her arms. She kept her guard up, elbows down, one hand lifted, the other hanging tightly to her side. Months ago she'd sparred with Jack, biotics flying from each other, silently grateful to have an outlet where neither held back. Garrus was different, sparring with him was like dancing. Full of hard hits, gentle quips, and breathless laughter.

Shepard rolled her eyes when he did the obvious, his claws reaching for her lifted hand, allowing Shepard to feint a left, instead swinging around her right and knocking him off balance. She quickly sidestepped before he could counter, Shepards grin teasing the Turian to try harder. His mandibles flared as he assessed her, Shepard carefully keeping her breath even, attempting not to betray the sleep deprivation she could feel in every muscle.

"Sleepy Commander?" Garrus asked, his feet scraping the mat as he advanced, Shepard scowled at the use of her old rank, the gloved bony hand striking her stomach, hard. She resisted the urge to double over, instead letting her mind go blank, letting her breath come hard and fast, the warmth of adrenaline setting her instincts in motion. She gripped his arm, twisting and pulling, letting her biotic field flow, pushing him until he buckled. He fell, laughing, before Shepard landed another hard blow to his face, and avoided looking at the blood his sharp edges drew from her knuckles.

"Shep, you won, it's enough-" his lighthearted tone was interrupted by another blunt fist, Shepard unable to control her breathing now, she pinned him beneath her, focusing on the movements. She had to stop them, she could feel the husks, could hear the insidious hiss that came with them, the smell of rotting flesh burning the back of her throat before she realized she was pinned.

"Shepard?" Her head was spinning, a pounding beginning to seep through, pain in her hip. She kept her eyes closed, trying to remind herself that she wasn't there. She was _safe_ on the Normandy, with the ones she trusted, she wasn't in a war, no do or die situations. She took another calming breath, letting it fill her lungs, imagining how it filled the rest of her.

"I'm good. Sorry." She snapped when she pushed Garrus off of her, the Turian keeping a hand on her shoulder, his beady eyes making her more embarrassed with each second.

"You sure?" he asked, Shepard turning her knuckles over in her hands, cuts all over her knuckles, a discoloring already making it apparent that she'd have bruises. She nodded, pushing his arm away, standing and shaking her hands, looking Garrus over. If he had any serious injuries, it wasn't noticeable, and Shepard couldn't help the guilt that filled her.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, I just-" She began rambling, shuffling from foot to foot.

"Shep, it's okay, I'm good." Garrus reassured, hand resting over the space on his face with her blood, his mandibles stretching experimentally.

"No, it's not." She stammered, avoiding his eyes when she pushed passed him, half running to the elevator, not even bothering with her shoes, wincing when she stepped on the grated flooring.

"The _fuck_ is wrong with me." She hissed to herself, hitting the controls, pacing the elevator, punching the walls systematically, trying not to think about the memories that had flooded her, unable to focus on anything else.

"Idiot." She finally cursed, rubbing her eyes, spots blurring her vision, she massaged small circles into her temples, where she felt the beginnings of a head ache.

She stepped into her room, somewhat less on edge with the comfort, fish swimming happily, her model laying exactly where she'd left it. She stretched, reaching upwards with her hands, before huffing, and sitting down to at least get the piece assembled before attempting to sleep. Keeping her hands busy, her mind focused, on one thing helped before bed. It lessened the chances of the night mares. Not night mares, the memories, she worried her lip between her teeth, letting her small sculpting knife shape the plastic in her fingers, sharpening the dull details. When she was satisfied, she glued the small panel of hull onto the model, sighing in relief.

She slowly and reluctantly stood, glancing at the clock, 2 Am displayed on the screen. She quickly changed, washing her face, brushing her teeth, her eyes falling closed as soon as her head hit the pillow with a soft thump.


	5. Chapter 5

She woke to her alarm as usual, the beeping making her groan angrily, her legs and feet still aching from the day before. She rolled out from under the sheets, stretching, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Shepard reaching into the bedside tables draw, pulling out two hairbands and quickly brushing her fingers through her hair, and lazily tying it as tightly as she could.

"How did you sleep?" She jumped at the voice, pulling her heavy pistol from spot under her pillow, training it on the source of the sound, blinking in the artificial light.

"The fuck?" She hissed, mind still groggy from sleep, heart racing, the Drell cocking his head as he watched the fish swim to the top off the tank.

"I apologize, if-" Thane turned to face Shepard finally.

"What are you doing?" She interrupted, slowly rising from the bed, blowing a small strand of hair from her eyes, her gun still trained on him, following as he stepped down the small set of stairs.

"I had to speak with you, but you were..." He paused, looking back to the disheveled bed, then to the pistol in her hand.

"So you just watched me sleep?" She exclaimed, ignored the pause in his voice, nearly laughing, if the thought didn't make a chill settle in her gut.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again, looking away, watching the flicker of light reflecting off the tank onto the floor. Shepard sighed, lowering her gun, her grip around the handle still tight.

"Pretty fucking weird Thane." She laughed, trying to calm her pulse, musing to herself that six in the morning was too early to be dealing with strange aliens and creepy habits.

"It won't happen again." He promised, smiling slightly, hands folded behind his back, finally meeting her gaze.

"You wanted to talk?" She gestured to the couch with the hand that still held the gun, letting Thane sit before taking her own across from him. He sat straight, his knees locked, hands clenched into fists and settled on his knees. Shepard leaned forward, placing the gun on the table, her shoulders hunched and arms across her middle when she leaned back and relaxed against the leather.

"Yes, Shepard, I..." He considered his words, looking from her, and back, Shepard listening intently.

"I'm interested." He confessed, leaning forward lightly, his hands relaxing, head resting on them.

"Interested-" Shepard repeated, shrugging, "in what exactly?"

"You, the renegade commander, her crew." He explained, gesturing around them to the room, the Normandy, a small blush spreading across Shepards cheeks. She let out a huff of air, shaking her head, another disarmingly straight forward comment from the assassin making her palms clammy.

"Wow, nice to know you did your homework." She clucked, looking at her hands, picking up the gun, turning it over in hands.

"Everyone knows of you Commander, going rogue after the council denied their claim of Reapers. Defeating Saren and the Geth, the first human spectre." He recalled, retelling the story she knew all too well.

"Yeah." She nodded, trying to ignore the memories, the cool metal in her hands reassuring of her safety.

"I apologize if I've overstepped." He lamented, hand touching hers gently, bringing her back to the conversation.

"No. No. Sorry. So uh, what do you mean by _'interested'_." Shepard deflected, pulling her hand away slightly, the spot where he'd touched, between her thumb and index finger, still heated. She remembered the rash, the itch touching him had left her with, the buzz of his kiss, the presence of him all too overwhelming. She ignored the hurt look in his big dark eyes when he placed his hand back on his knee.

"Exactly as I mean Shepard. I want to know more. I will leave if you ask me, but I wish to stay with you, I confess I..." He paused again, leaning back against the couch, shifting nervously.

"I've come to feel for you Shepard, things I haven't felt in a long time, and I'm _curious_." He finished, his gaze piercing, forcing Shepard to look away first, she laughed nervously, sorting the words carefully before she spoke.

"That's... You can stay Thane. I can't say I feel the same. But... you're a welcome addition to my crew." She stammered slightly, finally deciding to put on her best professional attitude, Thane smirking like he knew the punchline to a joke she hadn't told.

"Thank you, Commander." He stood, bending over, bowing deeply before walking to leave, Shepard letting out a sigh of relief as quietly as she could.

"Oh, and Commander?" He stopped just short of the door, Shepard stood, walking to meet his eyes as it opened.

"Chamomile tea, often helps when I have _restless_ nights." His face was somber, and Shepard shook her head, brow furrowing with the pity in his eyes.

"Noted."


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't trust him." Ashley reiterated, Garrus rolling his eyes and standing straight.

"Ash, he's a valuable asset, you haven't seen what he can do." Shepard snapped, Ashley huffing, her frown skeptical.

The conference room was silent, Wrex, Garrus, Ashley, Jack, and Joker looking to Shepard to carry on with her proposal. She'd decided to leave the system, Khaje having released several reports, for a Drell, human, and the Normandy. It was the first tip they'd had in months, and Shepard bit her nail at the me memory of fucking it all up. She sighed, leaning against the table, waving her omni tool to bring up a holo of her proposal: the Citadel.

"What're you thinking?" Wrex growled, obvious humor in his voice, smiling at the hologram lit up certain sections, highlighting them red.

"Can anyone tell me what this is?" Shepard chirped, mimicking the best version of a teachers voice.

"The Citadel." Garrus played along, lifting his hand, he shook it, before crossing his arms.

"Correct! Now, what exactly is the Citadel?" She narrowed her eyes, meeting the gazes of everyone in the room, smirking as anticipation and excitement began to fuel her.

"Uh, a space station?" Jack shrugged, her lip tilting in an annoyed scowl.

"And?" Shepard prompted, Jack looking to Wrex and Ashley, both shrugging.

"And a Mass Relay." Jeff answered, shifting excitedly, Shepard nodded.

"How does that help us? I'm here to make creds Shepard, not take a vacation." Jack leaned onto the table, reaching up and spinning the small citadel idly, the shadows danced across her tattoos, erasing the hard lines for a brief moment.

"What do you think would happen to all these Wards if we activated it? The Presidium? The council, in their comfy chairs," Shepard felt her hand curl into a fist, the rage of the past two years bubbling up to the surface.

"Shepard, you're talking about letting the Reapers through," Garrus broke in, his mandibles flared, beady eyes watching her carefully.

"Yeah, I am." She admitted, standing and meeting everyone's gazes.

"It's an extortion racket." Ashley explained for her, smiling, moving past Wrex and leaning over Jack, taking the Citadel and zooming into the highlighted areas.

"Here, these are all different political members, their offices, the Council, representatives..." She mused, Jack shoving her out of the way and looking herself.

"Here, here and here, we're going to give them the choice." Shepard concluded, picking out the three main offices, each councilors files coming up in tandem.

"Creds, or Reapers?" Wrex concluded, nodding in approval, his fingers tapping restlessly.

"Now you're getting it." Shepard laughed,the hologram folding in on itself, disappearing, the rest considering it carefully.

"How do we even get close? The Normandy is stealthy, but they're going to be looking for her." Joker pointed out, tugging on the lip of his cap.

"Now, there's where we need to start planning, and recruiting. We're good, but need more bodies for this." Shepard pondered, rocking back on her heels, Jack rolling her eyes and standing.

"I'll work on it." Joker mumbled, already backing away to exit the room, his steps careful, reaching out to brace himself on the wall.

"Can't we just fuck up some settlements? More fighting, less sneaking," Jack whined, her fingertips glowing with the thought of action.

"No. I'm doing this for a reason, they need to know how badly they fucked up." Shepard stared her down, her voice stern, resisting the urge to use her own biotics.

" _Sucks ass."_ Jack muttered as she walked off, Ashley following.

"You won't really do it, right?" Garrus asked, lowering his voice, claws twitching anxiously.

"It's not my decision Garrus, it'll be up to them." She crossed her arms, the Turian nodding slowly, Wrex giving her a crooked smile before following him out, Shepard sighing in relief.

If anyone would be opposed, it would have been Garrus, or Tali. Both knew and saw Sovereign, the same as her. Shepard ignored the memory, straightening, reminding herself that she was the captain. A renegade, sure, but this was her ship, _her crew_ , and her plan. Walked around the conference table, idly biting at her thumb nail, yelping when something from behind touched her shoulder, she span, grabbing it and twisting it downward.

"Fuck, Thane, you have to stop doing that." She stressed, letting him go, taking a step away as he straightened.

"I apologize, I was not invited, but..." He paused _again_ , Shepard still trying to calm her heart beat that threatened to deafen her ears.

"You're nosy." She finished for him, smirking and crossing her arms, Thane reciprocating with a tilt of his lips.

"Perhaps." He nodded, taking a step closer, Shepard tapping her foot lightly against the ground, the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention.

"Shepard, is it true, you'll let the Reapers through if they won't pay?" Thane asked, his brow furrowing, his big dark eyes threatening to swallow her. She moved passed the lump in her throat, nodding.

"Yeah. Why not?" Shepard laughed, turning away, she span on her heel, throwing her hands up in the air in a mock surrender.

"If they come through, if they're as you said they are, it would be a catastrophe." He summarized, his hand gripping her wrist, pulling her back to face him.

"So? Like you said, _if_. They never believed me Thane. If they pay, it's as easy as them admitting I was right, that the Reapers _are_ real. If they don't, they'll see for themselves." She inferred, her voice a purr, leaning in to tease the Drell, her lips ghosting over his neck, before pulling away abruptly.

"You could help." She suggested, Thanes eyes moving from hers, to her lips, hand dropping her wrist.

"I will." he nodded, shifting ever so slightly.

"How have you settled in?" Shepard changed the subject, leaning against the table.

"Fine. Though I feel some hostility from others. Joker has taken to calling me often." He smiled.

"Ah, they'll warm up." Shepard shrugged, before rethinking the statement.

"Well, maybe not Ashley. The others are easy enough." She joked, Thane moving to lean with her, the warmth of his arm too close to Shepards, her skin itching slightly.

"Yes, maneuvering past her proved to be quite a challenge." He mused, and Shepard laughed, the mental image of Thane sneaking past Ashley sending her into a fit of giggles.

"I'll tell her to lay off." Shepard promised, running a hand through her hair, standing quickly, Thane following her movements.

"Why do you trust me?" He asked, his head tilting to the side slightly, before resuming its stoic position.

"No real _reason_ , just a feeling, don't take it to heart." Shepard warned, taking a step towards the door, Thane almost jumping up, a blur.

His hand covered hers, Shepard looking down too see his thumb circling over her knuckles. He stood close, looking down at her, Shepard refusing to lift her face to meet his eyes. She slowly turned her hand, letting him fit his own alongside, intertwining his fingers with hers. He leaned in close, pressing his lips against her neck, Shepard biting her lip, leaned into the touch.

"And if I did?" He asked, his nose almost touching hers, Shepard tried to calm her breathing, smirking at the taunt.

"It's your problem, Krios." She shrugged, letting her lips touch his chastely, savoring taste, her tongue tracing the line of his bottom lip. He pulled her closer, a growl escaping his lips as he reciprocated, Shepard pulling away at the last moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realize this might be a lil ooc for shep, but idk im just thinking what if she HAD GOTTEN HELLA PISSED, instead of dying she's coming back with vengeance lmaooo


	7. Thane

"She's confusing." Thane pouted, a momentary lapse in his usual control of his features.

"Tell me about it." Jack smiled, her shock wave knocking over the several humanoid shaped targets.

"She says one thing, but acts another, I feel like she's-" He paused, considering the position of the target that had reset itself, aiming and firing before finishing "-toying with me."

"Well, you guys bumped uglies right?" Jack laughed, making crude gestures with her hands, adding to the awkward atmosphere, Garrus missing his target and choking on air.

"If that means what I think it means, yes." Thane nodded, placing his gun in its holster, sitting and contemplating her words carefully.

"Well, she doesn't usually _do_ shit like that." Jack explained, seemingly more embarrassed talking about her superiors motives, than about their sexual activities.

"She doesn't seem that way." Thane mumbled, still able to feel her lips on his, the same as before, teasing and brazen.

"She puts up a good front." Garrus chimed in, finally shooting down the target he had missed, rolling his shoulders, satisfied and smug.

"Oh?" Thane prompted, hoping for more.

"She talks a good game, but when it comes to actions and vulnerability, she's a novice." Garrus looked around after speaking, his voice lowered and careful.

"So what do I do?" Thane asked, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"What _do_ you want?" Jack bumped her shoulder into his, raising her eyebrows up at him, her grin giving Thane the mental image of a Varren before feeding.

"I'm not sure." Thane realized, his fingers tapping against his legs impatiently, itching to work out his indecisiveness in the form of aggression.

"Maybe you should figure that out before getting too involved." Garrus narrowed his eyes, the warning in his words suddenly apparent.

"It would be simpler if I knew her own motives." Thane mused, moving away from Jack, advancing on the door.

"Don't do something stupid." Jack called after him, Thane ignored her, already silently planning his next few moves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanes POV cuz i know certain ppl like shit like that ad i need practice and have no idea where im going with this god damn fic


	8. Shepard

"What the _fuck_ is this?" Shepard exclaimed, frozen in the doorway to her room.

"Oh my..." Kasumi chuckled, disappearing from Shepards side.

"Kasumi..." Shepard warned, silently hoping she had left, rather than opting to stay and witness whatever awkward situation was arising.

"Good evening, Commander." Thane greeted, stepping back from her bed, that was now covered in red, assessing it before shaking his head.

"Thane..." Shepard moaned, rubbing her temples slowly, unwilling to acknowledge the candles, the trail of petals, and the fact that Thane was standing in the middle of it all topless.

"What are you doing? How did you get in here?" She questioned, Thane smirking, her cheeks flushing when meeting his eyes.

"I was unsure how humans 'court', I asked your ships AI. EDI?" He began, hands hovering over the bed, rearranging the flowers, before turning and taking a few steps towards her.

"And this is what you came up with?" She exclaimed, running a hand through her hair, Thane stopping at the bottom of the small set of steps, frowning.

"Yes, she showed me vids... is this wrong?" He asked, the hum of his voice lower, like he already knew the answer. She shook her head, picking up a candle from her desk, blowing it out. 

"No, it's not, well _yes_ it is, wait, courting?" Shepard chewed on the words, frowning to herself. She silently cursed her earlier confidence, the thrill of seeing the assassin flustered spurring her on, now drained from her.

"Siha," Shepard jumped, Thanes hand on her waist, still not moving when she turned and faced him.

"Y-You still haven't told me what that means, is my translator glitching?" She croaked, his other hand slowly coming up to brush her cheek, pushing the hair that had fallen into her eyes back and tucking it behind her ear.

"Before I explain that, I must first explain myself." His voice was a drawl in her ear, his fingers grazing the skin of her jawline lightly, his hand taking hers and pulling her. She let him, taking a deep breath as he led her to the couch, sitting across from her. She waited, watching as he folded his hands, staring her straight in the eyes.

"What do you mean?" Shepard laughed, shaking her head, avoiding the intense gaze of his eyes.

"Shepard, there's much you don't know about me. Will you hear my confession, Siha?" He asked, his smile warm, the orange glow of the candles lighting the dark green circles in his glazed eyes. She nodded silently, his hand holding hers gently, as he recounted his story. She didn't say anything when he told her about the Hanar, about his training, she listened intently as he told her about his work, and how he came to meet his wife. Their son, Kolyat, and how he hadn't talked to him for years.

 _"Laser dot trembles on the target's skull. The smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in the scope."_ Thane seemed to fall away, his head tilting back slightly, eyes shifting too quickly.

"What was that?" Shepard came closer, putting a hand on his shoulder, frowning when Thane pushed her away.

"I- Drell, have perfect memories. We can relive any moment in our lives with perfect clarity. It's difficult to control at times. Some of us disappear into... let's call it solipsism." He rushed the explanation, waving it off casually.

"Okay... Good to know." Shepard hummed, leaning back into the seat, waiting for him to continue. He didn't say anything for a few moments, instead opting to contemplate the contours of his hands.

"So that memory... something to do with your wife?" Shepard quietly questioned, Thane nodding slowly in answer.

"Yes. That was Irikah. That was how I met her. She saw my targeting laser as she walked by and threw herself in the way." He recalled, smiling softly at the memory.

"That's impressive." Shepard commented, unable to picture a female Drell, fingers tapping against her knee restlessly.

"She woke me up. _Her body trembles. Not fear, indignation. Her mouth moves: ”How dare you!”_ You and I trained to sacrifice ourselves to save others. How often does a civilian step in the way of a bullet to protect someone they've never met? I thought she was the goddess Arashu. She met my eyes through the scope, and my purpose faltered." He confessed, chin resting on folded hands, looking across the room, and Shepard understood.

"What happened to her?" Shepard asked softly, watching his eyes fall, surprised at the small pang of guilt that resounded within her.

"I let myself become complacent. I thought Irikah and Kolyat were safe. I stayed away too long, and my enemies came for her." His voice was stone, slightly lower, and quiet, finally facing her, eyes scanning her face for reactions.

"Who?" She quizzed, unable to imagine Thane as a father, changing diapers rather than pulling triggers.

"Batarians. A slaver ring that was preying on Hanar outer colonies. I'd killed their leaders, and they waited until I left my family unprotected, alone. They were afraid of me." Thane shook his head at the memory, Shepard considering his words carefully.

"And?" She prompted, Thane sighing before continuing. Thane told her about leaving his son, going back into his battle sleep, and how they were the only lives he'd taken of his own volition. He tensed as he recounted the story, staring at the ground as if expressing his sins to a priest in confession- ashamed. Shepard waited until he was finished, before leaning closer, taking his hand in hers, forcing him to face her.

"Thane, I don't care about your past. What matters is _now_." Shepard blurted, Thane smiling softly, the hard lines of his face curving sweetly.

"Thank you, Shepard, I haven't spoken about my wife in... I don't think I ever have. I didn't have anyone left to tell." He mused, Shepard leaning in, pressing a small kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Thane... this was a nice thought, but please, if you break into my room again I _swear_ I'll shoot you." She grinned, pushing him away, fingertips brushing against his chest. His smirk was subtle, gone as soon as it appeared, but was still enough to make her breath hitch.

"Of course I'm sorry Siha, EDI assured me this would be 'romantic'." His hands formed quick quotation marks, before he stood, Shepard following.

"I guess I should take my leave." He leaned down, picking his jacket up from the floor, Shepard biting her lip as she appreciated the view of his muscles straining, his leather clinging to the curves of his legs.

"Well, it's pretty late..." Shepard trailed off, trailing a finger across his back as he straightened, eyes tracing the shades of darker markings striking through his sides. The candlelight casting more shadows when he moved, more shades of green and blacks, and some yellow hues visible in the fragile flickers when he faced her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont ask me about the timeline like i knooow edi shouldnt technically be there but DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK??? IM A SHITTY WRITER DEAL WITH IT


	9. Chapter 9

_"Shepard,"_ she groaned in response, pulling at the sheets to shield herself from the sudden light assaulting her eyes.

"Shepard, wake up." The now familiar voice purred in her ear, tugging gently at the sheet, a hum of a laugh, a heat on her back, and a shiver sending goosebumps over her neck and arms.

"What time is it?" She whined, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, allowing the cover to be pulled back.

"It's ten, EDI just informed me we've overslept." Thane kissed her gently, his lips grazing over the curve of her ear before pulling away.

"Dammit." She grunted, she slid out of bed, the cold air hitting her, she sighed, before pausing in her walk to the shower.

"I'm naked." She stated, her hair falling into her eyes, frozen in place, half way between the shower, and her bed. The Drells soft laugh sent a blush over her cheeks, she tried to take a deep breath, her chest feeling tighter as the moment dragged on.

"Yes. We are." He agreed, Shepard resisting the urge to look, instead resuming her walk, at a much faster pace.

Once in the shower, she turned it on, gasping, and letting the hot water rush over her. She fumbled for the soap bottle as steam filled the small cubicle, and she hissed when she dropped it, staring at it for a few seconds before picking it up. Her hair was knotted, a bundle of tangles she spent what felt like hours conditioning and untangling. She almost slipped when a slow knock sounded against the door.

"Shepard, are you okay?" Thane asked, worry laced in the slowness, careful in his words. Shepard rolled her eyes, ignoring him in favor of rinsing the soap out of her hair, before turning the shower off and answering. Just as slowly and carefully.

"Yeah, I'm good." She snapped, pushing her hair behind her ear, and pressing it to the door. She could hear the shuffle of his feet, a sigh maybe.

"Last night was... Good." He chewed out, Shepard smiling slightly at his pause. Embarrassment? Shepard grabbed a towel, bending over and twisting it around her hair, tucking it up onto her head, before taking another and wrapping it around herself, tucking it just over her breasts tightly. She took a deep breath, before opening the door to face him.

"Shepard..." He frowned, looking her up and down, before settling on the makeshift wrap on her head and smiling.

"I know. Sexy. I'm not going to lie, I don't remember much..." She babbled, walking past him and to her drawers, pulling out all her clothes chucking them on the bed. She picked his pants up off the floor, covering her eyes as she tossed them in his general direction.

"Like, after the weird conversation, some touching maybe? But after the third or fourth kiss I think I was wasted." She crossed her arms, sighing in relief to herself when she faced him, hastily pulling on the zipper, clothing at least his bottom half.

"That's unfortunate." He smirked, though his words seemed genuine. Shepard rolled her eyes, sitting on the bed, fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of the towel.

"I don't know if this is fair, to you. I'm not exactly relationship material, and-" His hand covered hers, forcing her to look at him.

"You don't owe me anything Shepard." He placed a kiss on her forehead, his nose bopping awkwardly into the towels folds, making her laugh.

"When you are ready, I will be waiting." She couldn't look away from his eyes, the slow blink, the light reflecting off the darkness in them. 

"I have to get dressed." Shepard sniffed, looking away, Thane watching her carefully before standing. He picked up his things, petals sticking to the underside of his bare feet. He stopped at the door, thinking for a moment, Shepard watched him, her heart racing.

"I'll speak to you later." He smiled, before ducking out through the doors, Shepard releasing a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOOOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN AGES but college got busy and im a piece of trash lmaoo and yea this is super short and yes i feel bad af plz dont hate me T^T 
> 
> but at least the holidays are soon, i promise updates on all my fics will be daily by then i promise lmaooo, in the meantime if you have complaints just message me on the tumlr, i need the motivation tbh, but enjoy this piece of shit im so sorry


	10. Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fORGET THAT OTHER CHAPTER I'm fixing this

"Quiet." Shepard warned, giving Kasumi a harsh stare before she cloaked herself.

"You're just so predictable. Jokers going to _love_ this." She giggled, soundless as she escaped.

Her hair was still a mess, and Shepard quickly pushed it into a damp heap on top of her head. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, the foggy night replaying in her head. Envious of Thanes memory, she pulled her brand of tea from where she hid it, deep in the back of the kitchens cupboard. The kettle took too long, and she pressed on the button impatiently, worrying her thumb nail between her teeth as it bubbled.

It had only been an hour since Thane left her room, and she was still nowhere closer to remembering what happened. As she poured the water into her mug, she tapped the counter, debating whether to wait for it to cool or not. Thane. She hadn't met anyone like him before, and at first, she chalked it up to curiosity of him being a Drell. She couldn't use that excuse now, having researched the Drell thoroughly after he ha made it clear of his interest in her. Shepard smirked slightly at the memory of her late night searching, making sure she hadn't accidentally proposed to him. 

"Morning, good night?" Garrus took a seat at the kitchens island, and Shepard wondered how his bony face could move like that, what she considered his brow lifting suggestively in what was surely a smirk.

"How?" Shepard groaned, taking a quick sip to test her tea and relishing the small burn.

"First, how was it?" He taunted, "I hear they have _great_ eyesight, bet that came in handy." His mandibles twitched, Shepard placing her cup on the table and taking a seat as she rolled her eyes.

"Ashley, she said he wasn't in Life Support, and then Kasumi mentioned what he set up... truly, I never could have guessed the new assassin would be such a romantic." He explained, resting his chin in his clawed hand.

"Ashley has to give it a rest, I'll talk to her." Shepard mused, mostly to herself, before taking another, much cooler sip.

"So?" Garrus prompted, leaning forward.

"So?" Shepard shrugged, mimicking him.

"How was he? What happened?" Garrus sighed, exasperated.

"Nope, I'm not enabling you. You all gossip too much already, if you have time to gush over my love life, you have time to work." Shepard left no room for interruption, lifting her hand to stop him before he even started.

"Did you finish those calibrations?" She asked, Garrus seeming to take the hint.

"No. Have you talked to Jack?" He countered, just as Shepard finished drinking her tea, raising a questioning eyebrow over the rim.

"She's been working with Ash, has some dossiers they want you to look at." He explained, tapping a sharp rhythm on the counter top.

"Oh, no, I didn't know. Didn't think Jack would be the recruiting type." Shepard sighed, slowly putting her mug in the sink.

"I know, I was surprised that they had so many connections, pretty sure Kasumi weighed in too." He got up, giving Shepard a last nod and wave before walking off.

Shepard stewed over it for a moment, unsure what to do, the blanks in her memory of the night before making her anxious. She pushed the faded, hazed memory or Thanes chest away, deciding to visit engineering. Shepard felt calmer walking through the Normandy, the sounds of the crew laughing, or debating, reminded her she hadn't been alone in her choices. She got the usual pleasantries as she passed too, only pausing to nod politely, awkwardly. "About damn time." Jack sighed, her tone managing to hide her relief slightly. She and Kasumi sat at the small table, Jack on her bunk, Kasumi leaning against it and fiddling with the holographic display. "So what have you got?" Shepard quiped, before Jack could ask about Thane, or for Kasumi to make a snide remark.

**Author's Note:**

> i spelled bulge like bluge and laughed for 10 minutes


End file.
